All Aboard! (Part 1)

Beautiful Downtown China

To top off what has been a lackluster set of two weeks (which yesterday had the addition of a destroyed teapot), I have finally gotten around to posting an update. Also, I will immediately (and finally) be returning to two-a-week updates (with another mix posted today to help make up for Tuesday) so that is something you can look forward to if you enjoy the Hacking Asia Radio. Enough of that, let's get to it.

Train Time!


I recently had the excellent fortune to be invited to be an extra on a Chinese drama. The drama was filmed a few hours away by train so the adventure kicked off by going to the casting agency and picking up train tickets. I actually have somewhat extensive live blogging notes of the entire trip (find out more about those notes after the jump!).
But, thanks to my iPhone apparently refusing to offer a simple way to retrieve them onto my computer... [seriously, have I mentioned my irritation with the last two weeks] I am forced to write a new overview.

Need to practice your catwalk? We can help!

The trip began the day before the shoot at the casting agency. All that my comrades and I knew was that the television show needed three well dressed foreigners. The type of show and what we would be doing were left complete mystery. However, given the fact that we were asked to bring formal clothing, we were crossing our fingers for a swanky bar scene where we would stand in the background and sip fake martinis. Of course, it could very well have also been some sort of variety/talent show where they would occasionally cut to impressed foreign faces. My personal hope was that we would impersonate Guiness Book of World records officials and award plaques to successful show participants.

Masters of Typography! (sorry for the blurry photo)

With no further information we were given a set of tickets and told to board a train that would be leaving in the evening. However, this is China, so unsuprisingly the train was leaving in approximately 40 minutes from a station across town. Rush hour traffic  guaranteed that no matter how lucky we were flagging a taxi (this part took about 10  minutes so you can be the judge), the driver probably lacked the supernatural ability to fly us above the gridlock to the station on time.

Thus it came to be that we had to acquire new tickets and wait at the station three hours for the next available departing train. The extensive wait was marked by one of our comrades possessing a video on her smartphone for seemingly every emotion she experiences. Penguins doing happy dances. A "irritated" penguin hitting another penguin into the water. An "unmotivated" polar bear pushing himself with only his hind legs. Essentially Nordic creatures doing peculiar things.

Not very busy.

The wait also had an enjoyable exchange at what was my first McDonald's experience in China. We sat at a large table table which was shared with a young couple. When the girlfriend went to the washroom, the boyfriend offered my friend Rusky (names changed and all that) a few packets of ketchup he didn't need. Believe it or not, this is a rather nice gesture in China...weird but nice. Rusky politely declined in Mandarin to the shock of the boyfriend. The interesting part of this exchange was that when the girlfriend returned the boyfriend excitedly told her (in Mandarin) about how Rusky knew how to say, "No thanks". Apparently he thought that was the extent of his Mandarin. Protip: If someone can speak enough of your language to decline an offer, they may also speak enough to understand your story about them. 

All Aboard!

I love trains.

When we finally boarded the train it was nearly 9:30. Our car was thankfully mostly empty (which in China means about 65% full). So many of the typical unpleasantries of Chinese  train rides like multiple active radios were thankfully absent.

If you didn't know, China still has a vibrant smoking culture. Taxis, no problem. Restaurants, no problem. KTV, no problem. Hospitals (probably), no problem. On the train, for example, you can't smoke in the cars. But, you can smoke in the connecting area which is completely open to the cars. So, the trip was a combination of reading and second hand chain smoking for three hours.

Open space!

When we finally arrived, it was after midnight. Gathering our satchels we exited the platform past the string of drivers clamoring for a fare. We then met our contact in the city and were escorted directly to the costume department where we were issued suitable attire for the next day's shoot.

Nun wanted DOA

The bumpkin and the costume dept.

We were told by the costume managers that the show was a drama set in the past and that our clothes would have to match the period. Oddly, all my clothes accept for my shoes were deemed suitable for the shoot. Meanwhile, my friends were issued completely different outfits which prompted an outpouring of mockery from each toward the other. One looked like a country bumpkin and the other looked like some sort of rogue nun. Though in retrospect I'm not sure being told that my clothes are adequate for a period 140 years ago is a compliment either.

At nearly 2:00 A.M. our costumes were marked and put away and we were hustled to our sleeping quarters for the night. We were informed breakfast would be at 7:00 A.M. and that we would then immediately be off to another location to have hair and make-up done. On that note, we split into two rooms and went directly to bed. But, not before noting the cleanliness of the facilities.

This actually doesn't bother or surprise me.

Stoke the fires [FAIL]!

Alright, I had planned to break this entry later on and had actually written a substantial amount of content. However, continuing the trend of the past two weeks I have lost this portion now twice. So, I will be including the rest of this adventure on Tuesday.

What can you look forward to on Tuesday? A plentiful supply of awesome photos from the film set, the best three Km of Chinese road, a bullet train, and Chinese Danny Devito. Also, possibly the worst acting performance of my life.