The Liquor To End All

While I have enjoyed drinking 2.5% beers (5 proof) during my first few weeks in China, I decided this weekend to finally venture into the realm of hard liquor. Because I didn't want to spend a lot of money on alcohol, I decided to go the cost effective route and buy a smaller bottle. After examining the options at a local store, I decided to buy 125 ml of a brownish liquor that was 35% alcohol (70 proof).

I have tried a multitude of other Chinese liquors. For those of you unfamiliar with the flavor. The way I typically describe the experience is "drinking rocket fuel" or "alcohol mixed with soy sauce". My previous experiences with Beijing's liquor called erguatou（二锅头）, generic baijiu, and the famous Maotai(茅台酒). I had some idea what to expect from my 10 yuan purchase (approx. $1.30).

I made the mistake of first smelling the vile liquor. A sweetness intermingled with the repulsive swill of low grade alcohol. Only temporarily stunned, I then took a sip. A smart man would have simply downed the bottle, but being a foolish person who smells their rotgut, I then tasted it like a connoisseur tastes wines. The result was a ghastly flavor that you are much better off reading rather than experiencing. The liquor tasted like alcoholic barbecue sauce. I imagine you could replicate this in your house by mixing 1 part barbecue sauce and 1 part Everclear.

The flavor was so repulsive I have been staring down the bottle for the last ten minutes while I write this entry. Maybe the best strategy to drinking any more of the foul concoction would be to go buy a different liquor to drink first. But I imagine, that would only lead to another entry and we would be forever stuck in a vicious cycle of alcohol purchases (much like the Simpsons episode where the pigeons are massacred by lizards).

That said, just be thankful this bottle will not be returning from China to haunt any of you.